my entire life up to this point regarding, what i like, how i behave, even how i talk to some degree has been in the image of (......) after they abruptly got out of my life.
talking with them again gave me an individual that felt unrecognizable. until, i realized, i really am just talking with the real, (......) and the idea of them i had had for so long wasn't even, a true thing. a formation of someone's identity based on all my positive memories of them. not like all my memories were positive of them and it's not even like i'd consider them forgiven for how things went over the years.
it was for the best i ceased wandering, or even running toward this...apparition, it feels like, under the impression that i can't be anything without them because of how they impacted my life
truthfully, life goes on. i'm my own person.
credits
from VOID MAN, II,
released February 22, 2021
strength